I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but I have an in-home daycare. I advertise myself as being flexible, but this means sometimes I get taken advantage of (JFC when did I start ending all of my sentences with prepositions?). I come from a feminist perspective where I try to support mothers in all of their decisions, whether I agree with them or not (obviously unless they endanger the child). As a former social worker I am well aware of psychosocial stressors the families might be facing and how that impacts the children’s care. I’m really good at my job, most of the time, and I think I provide a really unique perspective that supports families in a way that traditional day care does not. That all being said, I’m getting real sick of these fuckers cancelling days on me, but then when I ask for a day off or an early pick up so I can go to the fucking doctor it’s suddenly fucking impossible for them to take time off (and in today’s instance, I asked for a pick up an hour ahead of the typical schedule and provided them with at least a 2 week notice).
This is the story of my fucking life. I give and give and give willingly to others but when I ask for something in return I get nothing. I hate to sound like some fucking martyr, but I’m sick of this pattern. I’m so fucking burnt out with this job that I loved. And even though we have a lot more help with my MIL these days, I’m so burnt out being a caregiver. I can’t stop fantasizing about her moving out to a nursing home.
This week my MIL had another surprise guest. But it wasn’t a surprise to her, just me. I’ve told family and friends to please contact me as a courtesy about visits, but they don’t give a fuck. Everyone just does whatever the fuck they want. Well maybe it’s time I start doing whatever the fuck I want too. Being thoughtful and compassionate towards everyone and it’s gotten me nowhere. So, everyone can just fuck off.